peanutBrittle: random ravings of a confused mind

a list

2008-04-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

don't ask what it's for, i'm not telling. suffice to say it's for me, for something i want to do for myself.

andres
kevin
adrienne
arion
rose
anika
darlene
steph k
amber
lyssa
william
allen
megan
jessey
alan
rix
enrique
mai
kat
marie
eve
caitlin
colin
jolly
derek
shannon
emily
kyla
hanna
brooks
shelley
riley
steven
emily g
rachel
kiku
elliott
ka'i
serena
merry
mikko
jyoti
margaret
david c

midwintah braeke!

2008-02-19T23:51:00.000-08:00

wow, i've been getting sidetracked a lot lately. SO MUCH TO DO! lessee, for my own sake, howzabout a "to do" list?

Clean computer desk (file papers, organize junk)
Clean homework/corner desk (find homes for art supplies, remove unnecessary distractions)
Clean out file cabinet...WAY full (get rid of excess junk, box "to save" stuff for the attic)
Clean room (tidy under bathroom sink, put away clothes)
Clean pile-o-junk by the door (clothes to hamper, hang jackets and scarves, find homes, etc.)

...there's never enough time to do all that, all my homework, prep-for-college research/self-recruiting/selecting, AND the various fun things that are critical to my well being. ah, well, i suppose i'll just have to work as hard as i can and pray for summer to hurry up and get here.

i have insomnia, therefore ib.

2008-02-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

it's a little strange, but i'm actually starting this semester much more on top of things, despite my maniacal teachers' willful homework-giving. it's very satisfying. the most worrisome classes are english and social studies. english, where i feel like i'm the only person that's freaked out that we have to present in a few days and we're not ready; social studies where three different assignments are pending at any given time, including internal assessments that're killer, for all their rumored "simplicity." biology is deceptively easy, with ecology being the dumbest unit ever (i did it back in mrs. stewart's 10th grade class, as a freshman), and with a sub that is, well, sub-par. fortunately, according to natalie, bio is much easier (and somewhat more interesting) senior year. physics is FINALLY getting to be more fun, but is also getting harder. sooooo many equations!!!

you know, friends...

2008-02-01T22:24:00.001-08:00

can really be a hassle sometimes.

but they're (mostly) worth it.

cuteoverload.com

2008-01-28T20:55:00.000-08:00

ooooer, it occurs to me that y'all may not be yet acquainted with the wonders of cute overload. the name is quite self-descriptive, but i'll give you a few examples to spur your imagination and inspire frequent viewings:

HOW CAN YOU RESIST THAT??? say it after me: Cute Overload Rox My Sox!

juno

2008-01-28T19:43:00.001-08:00

just got home. i did all my homework and worked out for an hour (to the dumbest 80s workout video you can imagine...i'm not sure if it was originally made for desperate bachelors or phone sex, but it sure as hell wasn't a serious workout), so mom took me to see juno.

wow.

what a magnificent movie. seriously, it was wonderful. surprising, heartfelt, and not at all cheesy - A+. my cinemaphilic rating places it with other "must have" movies, such as amelie (an incredibly sweet french film from a few years ago), the blues brothers, moulin rouge, the dinner game(another fantastic french movie), pan's labyrinth, run lola run, and lock stock and two smoking barrels. mrs. luce wasn't kidding - she said it was so great, even her husband liked it. (note: good date movie!)

football is appalling

2008-01-28T00:59:00.000-08:00

did anyone read the seattle times article about jerramy stevens? that's fucking disturbing. seriously, i don't have time to express all my feelings about it (check back tomorrow morning after i read the second part), but OH MY GOD.

restart

2008-01-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

wow. eets been a looooooong time. it's sort of refreshing to put thoughts to paper, in a manner of speaking, so here's my day in review.

1. woke up at 8:15 for 9 am tutoring appt...alicia didn't get here 'til 9:30. i'm impressed i stayed conscious. (that reminds me, need new CAS form) - general question...does anyone have an old core textbook i could use? purple i'm pretty sure - i breathe the math alicia is having trouble with, so i worry i'm not explaining it well enough. i really want to help her out. seriously, i love that kid.

2. dad decided that the downstairs should be cleaned from last night's party. don't get me wrong, "not-tolo" was hella fun, but my downstairs was TRASHED. boy do i love having a vacuum system, though - different attachments sucked up everything from popcorn to unidentified brown and white floor coatings (thought to be eggshells). i may need a break from being the party house. perhaps every-other party could be here...

3. i'd love to say that i then dove right into my homework, but i totally went back to sleep. slept 'til 3...it was magnificent.

4. spent the evening cleaning my desk, organizing my computer, creating a spreadsheet for all my passwords (i'm so forgetful), and stripping and remaking my bed. for those who don't know, i have a loft bed, so changing the sheets is, in fact, work worthy of mentioning.

i should probably get back to work - mom said if i cleaned my desk (again, a massive feat) and finished my homework, she'd take me to see juno tomorrow(no school)!

signing off. <3

ughhh......

2005-06-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

im gonna be ill.................sniffsniff.............my myspace...................sob....................

btw....

2005-06-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

oh by the way, ryno dumped nika. shes "goin out w/" mike. they arent officially goin out, but they adore each other.

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-06-22T14:56:00.000-07:00

holy crap someone deleted my myspace!!!! i had the COOLEST myspace EVA and sooooo many rockin' friends, and they fucking DELETED it!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"We reserve the right to terminate your account for any or no reason at any time." What a load of CRAP!!! oh......my......god............i spent soooooooooooo much time on that account and i didnt break ANY of the rules..................sob........................

love it or hate it

2005-04-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

sighhh...i'm in turmoil w/my best friend nika about her boyfriend, ryno - he's okay and all, but since she's been going out with him, he never even acknowledges my presence!! jeez. she kinda does the same thing...she ignores me (among other people) when he shows up. meg and i talked to her about it and it's getting better. i never get any sleep nowadays 'cause my cuz rix calls me @ 10:30 pm to talk about random nothingness. it's 7:30 his time (hawaii time), so it's free for him, but i get hecka tired (lauren's word). it's still fun though, even though we don't have as much to talk about - we talked nonstop for the week or so he was here...up 'til 4:30 am nightly. good times. my grades are improving, but my parents are so suspicious of me that they check every night what homework i have to do and they're constantly pestering me about "upcoming projects" and "upcoming tests". a B is insufficient and "not as good as i could be doing", so i pretty much have to get straight A's. sux. chat later. byez.

hi again

2005-04-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

lesse....since last post....umm ...

-i dont really want a boyfriend anymore (its an odd feeling)
-im on spring break and my cousins are here
-and life continues at a slow pace.

nothing particularly fascinating has happened. oh, my grade in math dropped from an A to a C so my parents freaked out and they watch my every move. its kinda annoying, but i'm more organized. thassal for now. bye

yeah, and about pablo....

2005-03-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

it's weird...now, when i think of pabs, i get, well, disgusted. it's an odd feeling, but i'm SO glad i'm over him. maaan, now that i think back on myself when i "liked" him, it's sad. i'm done with pablo.

long time no...uh...chat

2005-03-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

hmmm...what to say....well, it's been a while. i've been pretty busy, but i love doing this so i'm back! lately i've been pretty psycho about this guy i've had a crush on for the past year and a half or so. sometimes the crush dimmed and i got hooked on another guy, but i'm really stuck on him now. those who know me probably know who i'm talking about (math boy), so i won't say his name. suffice to say he's a great guy, totally fun to hang with, and a HOTTIE! jeez, when he took his shirt off at the wrestling match...sigh...niiiiice. i'm such a loser-i've been lusting after this guy for almost TWO YEARS!!!! maaan.........

p.s.

2005-02-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

oh yeah, and i DIDN'T get a boyfriend at the dance....though pabs was lookin' hot in his suit and ponytail.....yummy.

a dancin' and a prancin'

2005-02-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

sigh.....the first dance of the year-destined to be memorable.......and painful. actually, it averaged out ok, but there were definite downs, stabbing awkwardness into the fun. i love her and all, but my friend didn't help much. she spent most of the time NOT dancing 'cause she was moping about her crush (who in her mind hates her with a fiery passion, though it's actually unsure) and sobbing hysterically over songs that "they always have to play!", though they're first timers. it was weiiiirrd, not to mention overdone in the worst way. she evidently reverted into her old ways of "i am the only one here-pay attention to ME!", which is no fucking fun for me. the tears fall and "ohmygod NIKA WHATS WRONG?!?!" and BOOM! just like that, i disappear, to mope about MY crush (yes, she's NOT actually the only one in the world with guy problems)....alone. fun.

more bout...guess what- ME!

2005-02-11T17:57:00.000-08:00

surprise, surprise-i'm back. hi. sup? i just realized what gaps there are in your oh-so-important-knowledge of....guess who? ME! lessee....i believe in magical creatures, reincarnation, and i'm wiccan. ummm.....i live for love and my friends, and can't live without one or more crushes to dream about and obsess about with my friends. (that's not to say that they aren't serious-you should see how i act...it's pretty sad) my best friends are anika, jyoti, eve, shelley, amber, rix, and kale, but i have too many other friends to count. i'm currently madly in love with a friend of mine at school named pablo, and as far as i can tell, he's oblivious, it appears that asking somebody out does not, in fact, inform them of the subtle little fact that, WHOOPS! i like you. amazing, and rather sad. i pick some pretty dense guys to like....they're all hotties and really fun to hang out with though. hmmm.....what else.......oh yeah! i've been slowly dying from lack of love for the past few weeks, and i think that, (due to my lack of a boyfriend for the past, oh, 6 years or so) i'm going to collapse if i don't have a boyfriend by monday (a.k.a. val day). sigh. i can do this..........

Homecoming!

2005-02-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

yayyyyyyyy! my mom's been in hawaii for the past week and tonight she's coming home! i'm so happpppppppppppyy! seriously, this house is NOT run well without my mom here. one downside to her return- she wants to move to hawaii now. i'm left to convincing her that, no, despite the fact that i adore hawaii and used to live there, unless she can cart all of my friends (and there are a lot i'd bring) with us, I WANNA STAY HERE. sorry, no can do. i'm rooted...probably has something to do with the 7 years or so she and my dad have already kept me here. oh, by the way, my volleyball tournament yesterday was kewl! we got second in the division one diamond finals. plus, WE GOT THE T-SHIRTS!!! the winning team got to choose between the t-shirts and some teddy bears. we didn't know why they chose the teddies until we got the shirts: read PUGET SOUND SUPER SUNDAY VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT 2003. cheapasses-can't even buy new t-shirts for a new tournament. they're still pretty cool though...and we get to show off at school that "i've got something to DO with my weekend when you're at home drooling over the t.v.". take that! hmmmm....oh yeah, who do i like.....to tell or not to tell the internet-load of readers......that's a hard one.......ah what the hell-it's not like I'M subtle about it or anything. ok, if you care (which you probably do if you're still reading), there's like three amazingly hot guys at my school- paul, stefan, and pablo.....sighhhh...........mannn they're fine.........though it makes me sound pretty pathetic and desperate (read: single), i HAVE asked all of them out in turn. "i have no time between two baseball teams", "i'm not into the girlfriend thing", and "i just want to be friends". you'd think i'd be permanently turned off guys, but nope. still obsessively devoted to their highnesses. all you out there who think you're unlucky 'cause your boyfriend lives "oh, no, not 20 minutes away!"....you got nothin' on me! my first and ONLY boyfriend ever was in 1st grade, at an age where you can't even logically call him my boyfriend. my first kiss was on a dare, and i have yet to have a first make-out session. sad huh. well, y'all are mahhhvelous and all, but i'm depressing myself, so i'm signin' out. night.

First timing

2005-02-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

hmmm never done this before. i thought this was a fun idea-pour out the inner workings of my mind to random people on the internet-but now i'm at a loss for words. to start, my day was nothing particularly interesting. therapy at 11 to start the day, then straight homework....not really the idea of a perfect saturday. i'm reading a great book though. the fairy godmother, by mercedes lackey. my friend anika lent it to me. a+ so far. oh yeah, and i found out the dismal news that, to make my volleyball tournament on time tomorrow, i'll be waking up at an obscene 5 o clock. nothing against those who do so daily, but i'm all for 6 and the snooze button...i don't awaken well. oh well. life moves on.